User blog:TheElectraFroot/goodbi

Hey 👋🏻

I suck at typing introductions to things, so I guess let’s start with an intro. Obviously I can’t type my actual name, but I am TheElectraFroot. I’ve been using Fandom for five years now (under different accounts), and I’ve come to love it. I just started editing on this wiki today, and in the spirit of the community, I’ve come to share my story.

(I can’t tell if I wanted to make this serious or comical, so you might get both.)

story
Part one (my family)

When I was younger, I had Barbie dolls and Nintendo DS and Wii games to give me leisure in the world. When I did play dolls with my older sisters, we would choose who we wanted to be. Well, my oldest full sister, who watched ABC Family and knew what sexual orientation was, made boys and girls kiss, but she also made people of the same gender kiss. Now, seeing that I was six years old, I just never thought of it. And when we made Mii characters I always favored the girls. It took a lot of convincing for me to pick a favorite male Mii.

So while I was introduced to the concept, I didn’t hear the word. I first heard the word when I was in fourth or fifth grade. My sister came home from school and told me she was taken and wanted me to guess who her partner was. She said it was a friend. Since it had been four years since I’d seen same-sex kisses (by this time I started living with my Christian grandparents), I could only guess a guy. To my surprise, she wasn’t taken by a guy. That’s right; she had a girlfriend. And that’s how I knew what bisexual was (she does have attraction to men sometimes; but it leans toward the females).

Well anyway, so I knew the word, and I began to live with it. I always felt like an outlier in my family due to my sexual orientation; while my sisters were bisexual and my half-sister was pansexual, I was straight. I did think girls were pretty but I usually liked guys. Seems heterosexual to me right?

oh...

Part Two (my experience):

For all of my lifetime, I have liked boys. I liked all kinds of boys; sporty, mostly (which changed rather quickly because now I like guys in theatre). For all of my school life I could think of one guy I had a crush on. Boys were great. HOWEVER, what I didn’t know is that I had some underlying gay.

My first memory was when I was nine or ten years old. My sister and I came to my hometown to visit my other sister and half-sister, and my sister was about to spend the night with her best friend. Well, she finally got here to pick my sister up and I took a look at her for the first time.

Long story short, I had a gay panic and could only say “hi”. Part of it might be my lack of communication skills, but holy shoot she was gorgeous. And she was eleven!

Anyway, I abandoned that memory until I went to summer camp. I met this girl and we became friends. In reality, I sort of almost LIKE liked her. She was a dream girl with her mom jeans and ukuleles. Then I realized something: the summer camp I go to is a church camp. She’s straight. So we’re still best friends.

Boys were still my type, though. Last year I went to Uganda and there were three teenagers that went: me, my sister, and this other guy. Because my sister liked him, I made it my personal goal to stay away from him and let them be as to not hurt anyone.

I should explain at this point that I am the annoying little sister that sticks her nose into everything my sister does. And that my dumb self likes to fall for anybody that’s in musical theatre. I’m really a clown.

Anyway, this whole corona thing brought me a surprise one night. Now this point was where I quickly realized I wasn’t straight:

My friend texted me and told me she liked me. That I was great and beautiful. Now I thought I was straight but, as it turns out, I’m not. I was shaking with happiness. We did become a couple, but she broke up with me last month. It feels like I don’t understand relationships (I don’t; I’m 16 and my dad never-)

So anyway, that is my story. I do like the guy and if everything falls right, he might like me. I still love girls. I’m still bisexual, and I am still me.