User blog:TheElectraFroot/coming out

Hi again

Four months ago, I made a post about how I realized I was bi. And then I disappeared for a few months. I primarily made this post so I can pinpoint my coming out timeline. Now, I’ve only known myself as bi for six months, so I can’t remember much. I’ll try breaking it down to a couple of parts.

Part one: The first three people to know about it
As I mentioned in my last blog, I got a girlfriend. It was April 16th that she confessed to me (and I think that was also the day we began dating; maybe it was the day after). In that moment, I began panicking (my gay awakening) and I texted two of my friends who are also in the LGBTQ+ community. These three people were the first to know.

(sorry, that was short)

Part two: my theatre friends at a hangout
I’m pretty sure I have mentioned this, but I’m an artsy and theatre kid. Over the summer, I was practicing for an original play written by one of my sister’s friend’s siblings. In June, we had an overnight thing, and it was also National Coming Out Day. In honor of NCOD, my director said that if anyone wanted to come out, they could. My (now ex) girlfriend came out as WLW (I don’t know if she likes labels), and I thought, “Well if she can do it, you can too.”

So I did. I said the word “Rene-gay” (as opposed to the Renegade dance) privately, but three of my other theatre friends heard me and said, “What?” So I said it louder and pointed to myself.

Holy sweet mother of s**t, was that the most energetic reaction to my coming out. This really tall guy next to me stooped down to my level (I’m 5’3, and he’s 10’46 or something) and wrapped me in a bear hug, and the other girls started hugging me, too, and (with my consent) told everyone I was bi.

I think I came out to everyone EXCEPT the lead role of the production that day. To be fair, she wasn’t there 😂

Part three: My family
(NOTE: by this i mean my sisters.)

“But G, you prioritized your friends over your family!”

I feel guilty that these people only found out last month, but I was afraid. I was always seen as the straight one, and any hint toward my true sexuality was passed off as a joke (which is logical, considering a good 90% of what I say is true).

I remember it was a Sunday night. I texted my sister’s friend and asked for advice on coming out. She said to be straightforward. Using her advice, I texted my sisters and said “I’m not straight. I like men and women.” The response was “WELCOME TO THE CLUB” (all of my sisters are LGBTQ+). I ended up getting a lot of love that day, which I’m grateful for!

Part four: The Hard Part
So I’ve come out to most of my friends already, except for one. For privacy reasons, we’ll call him Milo. Milo’s a friendly guy; he’s nice to everyone and he cares about everyone (I didn’t eat one day because of anxiety and he gave me his granola bar). The catch is, he was a Christian. I am a Christian, too; however, I’ve heard LGBTQ+ get degraded by fellow Christians (and it’s usually a huge level of disgust). I didn’t want to tell Milo how I felt because I was afraid he’d act hostile toward me, thus ending the friendship.

My other friend said differently. He told me to come out to Milo because it was now or never. I’ve known Milo to a few years, and he’s been my friend since I was in sixth grade. I got to know who he truly was in eighth grade or so, and I know he’s sweet.

So I did it. My first step was asking for his advice via text. I disguised it as “I have to tell a childhood friend something i’ve kept under wraps”. He actually gave good advice to me: ask if I can share the news in advance, prepare them, and share it with them (he also had shared with me the hypothetical scenario of me confessing romantic feelings; considering I actually have a crush on him, I might use that advice, but then again, I’m a wimp). My second step came in the next day: since our paths usually cross before sixth hour, I asked if I could share something with him using the advice I “used on my friend” (I didn’t actually have a friend that I disclosed a secret to; I just used that to get some input out of him easier.) And then... I came out.

His overall reaction was neutral. He didn’t try to tell me that my feelings were wrong. He told me he was glad I could confide in him (which shows I can trust him), that he wanted to cry for me (except I don’t think he wants to go into Spanish crying and having to explain to the class why he was crying). He gave me a hug in the school hallways, partially defying his COVID concerns, and later told me he still loved me and that our friendship wasn’t in jeopardy.

He later talked to me and said something along the lines of, “I know (friend’s name) advised you to come out to me. I want you to remember that God still loves you, and I still love you. Never let others define you by your label.”

So yeah. That’s my lazily typed story. I feel much better knowing that my identity is out there, and that I’m still known to people as (MY NAME IS CENSORED FOR PRIVACY PURPOSES), instead of that newly found bi. Thank you for reading.